The Confidence Pill: A False Illusion for Self-Assurance
By: Ann (Chana) Friedman, LSW
I regret to inform you, that unlike the title of my blog there is no pill in the pharmacy called confidence. If I had a magic pill that could make an individual confident, I would be rich, famous and too busy to write blogs due to the bombardage of reporters swarming me. Which when it comes down to that, I am not sure if I want that. Regardless, with all the research and experiment out there, the confidence pill is not something that exists on any market. Including the black market.
What is it that people are so often searching for? The answer to that is confidence. We are searching for it in Gucci, at the car dealerships, in the wig store,and at the plastic surgeon.We spend money that we do not have in search of products that will make our skin clearer, our hair thicker. We are searching for it just about everywhere. Although I do not have a magic confidence pill, I will let you in on my not so magical secret. Confidence is not something that you find; rather, it is something that you build. In case you are not sure you read that correctly, I will reiterate. Confidence is not something that is discovered, it is something that is developed through experience and effort.
Since we are so busy searching for this thing called confidence, let's take a minute to define confidence. What is confidence? Confidence is a feeling of self assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities and qualities. In layman's terms, it is feeling comfortable and believing in your own abilities.
How do I get confidence?
Confidence is obtained through doing something over and over until you have mastered the skill. There is no individual that was born a confident cook, a confident ballerina or a confident musician. Anyone who is confident in something, it comes from practicing and practicing until he or she has mastered the skill. The first time Beethoven played piano, was not the first day he confidently performed in theaters in Vienna. Ted Allen from chopped, did not learn how to cook a day before he began cooking shows. Confidence takes time, confidence takes patience and most importantly it takes allowing yourself to be human and to make mistakes.
The same applies to becoming confident in social situations, meetings, public speaking, dating and learning how to drive. Confidence is about learning skills in that area and doing it over and over and over. With time, patience and practice, I promise, you will find yourself being led into (the not magical pill) state of confidence.
